TummyMountain

rain

2012-01-28T21:43:00.003+11:00

It has been raining on tummy mountain. It has been raining for weeks. The little ones have been spending a lot of time indoors, only going outside so they can track mud back into the house.

During one of the rainy spells Wee Small told me a story in which someone was "unbarrassed."
I can't remember the nature of the story now as I was so taken with the word "unbarrassed."

I am assuming that a person can be embarrassed, and the only way to stop this is to "unbarass" oneself. Which makes me wonder how does one unbarass oneself as quickly as possible. I usually try pointing out the window at something, like the rain, but that never works.

"Bear" Manatee

2012-01-17T10:01:00.002+11:00

I think Manatee may have been watching too much Bear Grylls in "Man vs Wild," and may need to concentrate a little harder on geography instead.

Happy Next Orbit of the Sun

2012-01-02T07:14:00.000+11:00

Seems hard to believe that another year has rolled by. We have all done yet another orbit of the sun.

TuMS has reported that tummy mountain is in the same position in space as it was a year ago. This news has been greeted by the cicadas with complete indifference. They seem to be only concerned about the Kookaburras, who like to eat them.

I suppose... if I was them... I would be more concerned about the Kookaburras too, than abstract concepts about our relative position in space.

Another year gone, and The Little One (being the eldest) has declared herself "a life authoritist." I think this is a good thing. She seems pretty sure about a lot of things. I am more uncertain about a lot of things.

One of the things Tummy Mountain's newly appointed Life Authoritist has told me is to avoid "panthemists."
Wee Small nodded in agreement with this wise statement.
I am uncertain what a "panthemist"actually is.

Is it a panther? Is it a phantom? Is it a phantom panther? Is it a person who studies phantom panthers?

They cannot tell me. All The Little One can tell me is to avoid them.

I assure them that I will avoid panthemists.

So there you have it.

And so it is time for the little ones to wave to you all that have followed them and their adventures over the year, and have shared with us all your little one's adventures too, as all these wee little ones (and us not so little ones) try and make sense and nonsense of this world around them.

Happy Next Orbit and Avoid Panthemists

..

the magic of Christmas

2011-12-28T08:13:00.000+11:00

Wee Tiny has had a marvellous Christmas with many unexpected presents from Santa (although it seems that Santa could not understand her long letter of scribbles.)

Her favourite gift is from a friend of the family. This friend, shall we diplomatically state, has a love of the little ones, if not a finer grasp of what makes a good gift to a child, and thus has in the past failed miserably in the art of giving presents. Yet this time the friend has scored an unexpected hit with Wee Tiny by giving her an office stapler.

A black office stapler.

At first Wee Tiny was confused, but after initial examination it has become her favourite toy.

There are several reasons why;

Firstly, it makes a very satisfying "ka-chonk-ah" sound every time it is pressed down

and

Secondly, it spills out little glittering silver things onto the floor after the "ka-chonk-ah" sound.

And though the glittery silver things ran out after about fifty ka-chonk-ahs, the ka-chonk-ah sound never stops. In fact it can go ka-chonk-ah for hours.

Wee Tiny is very delighted with her stapler.

Being an adult, I foolishly stepped in, and demonstrated how to reload the stapler AND revealed to her it's purpose by stapling two pieces of paper together.

Wee Tiny snatched it back. Wee Tiny did not want to know about that. It was her Stapler and it was for making ka-chonk-ah sounds and for spilling silver things on the floor. However, I did note that she has taken the reload knowledge on board.

And later on I discovered she had worked out the stapling part too. She had happily stapled her socks to her t-shirts.

What a marvelous thing Christmas is.

some good advice

2011-12-19T09:56:00.000+11:00

The little ones have told Wee Golden about their preparations for Christmas. That is to say, putting up the Christmas tree, helping with the Christmas lights (we won't go into that "help") and sending their letters to Santa.

Now it is time to perhaps pay Santa a visit, so the little ones can talk to him in person.
And this is when Wee Golden piped up with some additional advice to heed.

Wee Golden: Sometimes Santa gets angry when you whack Santa.

Now I don't think for one minute that Wee Golden has been engaged in unsavoury scuffles with Santa, but I still think it is quite unusual advice to give. Well I don't think we'll have any problem there. We are very much against violence to Santa.

WARNING! SANTA! WARNING!

2011-12-15T03:56:00.000+11:00

Wee Golden dropped by tummy mountain the other day, to enlighten us with his perspective on life. His latest offering involves Santa.

Wee Golden: Santa Claus should not wear red clothes.
Me: Why not?
Wee Golden: Polar bears will see him and get him.
Me: Does this mean Santa should wear camouflage?
Wee Golden: Yes, and he should carry a gun.

..

right here, right now

2011-12-10T12:08:00.010+11:00

The little ones do not understand why people use calendars. The little ones don't know what they want to do in an hours time, let alone a few months. The idea seems a bit strange to them, and they approach calendars with a wee bit of suspicion. In the past they believed that calendars told the future, but now they know that isn't true.

As Wee Small says "How can they know the future. They can't even talk."
Wee Tiny has been looking at it "for hours" (let's translate that as really about 50 seconds) and it "doesn't spoke once!"

There you have it. Calendars - future telling wonder devices? Or a preposterous pile of poppycock?

attention...attention...

2011-12-09T20:37:00.005+11:00

Finally!

The Tummy Mountain Looking Forward Society has managed to crank out a few calendars for the upcoming year!

Watch this space for details!

be prepared

2011-12-06T08:22:00.001+11:00

Christmas is on its way and the little ones are making serious preparations.
Very long letters to Santa are being written around here.

Some, like The Little One's, are very detailed and comprehensive. ...and if one would dare venture a criticism, perhaps a bit too long.

Some, like Wee Small's, are...well...mysterious and confusing, involving many new spellings of English and the odd backward letter.

Some, like Wee Tiny's consist of elaborate scribbles and many up and down strokes. She is very confident about the clarity of her letter, but I fear that she may need an interpreter.

And who better to interpret her letters than Santa! I am very confident that Santa is a handwriting expert, having received so many letters from small folk for so many years. I am surprised his services are not being employed in the justice system unravelling cases of forgery!

The little ones were quite anxious to post their letters to Santa nice and early. They woke me up at "Augghhh...ehhh...its still dark!" o' clock. So we stumbled down to the post box in the dark.

"It is a long way to walk to the post box!" I complain.

"But it is even further to the North Pole!" explains The Little One "That is why we have to start nice and early."

It is too early for me to understand any form of logic in that statement. Instead I appreciate the dawn chorus of birds, and think about a nice hot cup of tea when I get back home to tummy mountain.

everyday life

2011-12-01T09:51:00.002+11:00

Wee Golden dropped by tummy mountain the other day to enlighten us with his perspective of the world. Here is what he had to say:

Wee Golden: I'm an ordinary boy. I can change into ten different aliens.

..

where can one find the time...

2011-11-26T11:26:00.005+11:00

On tummy mountain the seasons are changing.
The heavy rains that precede summer are thundering down.
It has been this way for some time now.

The little ones are inside smearing their wee faces against the windows wondering when the rain will stop so they can run around outside.
I am wondering when they will clean up their wee craft area.
Everyday there seems to be some kind of excuse why not to do it.

We finally agreed that it would be done on Saturday.
It is now Saturday and I reminded Wee Small of her task.
"It's not Saturday today," she said. "It's Double Friday."

Just like that Wee Small creates an extra day and finds more time to do (or not do) all the things she has to do.
I wish I had thought of that whenever I have been short of time.

more measurements

2011-11-06T10:19:00.001+11:00

When Wee Golden was here the other day he told me what was on his mind;

Wee Golden: I am hungry
Me: You're always hungry! How big is your tummy?
Wee Golden: One hundred and sixty five!
Me: Impressive!
Wee Golden: My tummy can eat 100 percent off!

I am not sure what that means but he believes it 100 percent.

..

Halloween?

2011-10-31T21:32:00.009+11:00

Jack and his family

This post has some explanations;

In the Land of Tummy, Halloween was never celebrated, and so us older ones don't really know what it is all about. Yet over the last few years, the wee little ones from all over the Land of Tummy seem to understand exactly what it is about;

Dressing up and eating lollies!

(lollies are also known as candy in many parts of the world.)

Wee Tiny, being very tiny was looking forward to the unbridled unhinged lollie festival that is Halloween. Even though she is very tiny, she seems to have some grasp on what is going on, and felt that I should understood the importance of Halloween.

So Wee Tiny explained it to me

Wee Tiny: A hello-ing, a lollies!
Me: Errr...what?

So Wee Small clarified what Wee Tiny had explained.

Wee Small: You go a hello-ing and you get lollies.
Me: A hello-ing?

The Little One, being the eldest, applied logic to Wee Small's clarification of Wee Tiny's explanation.

The Little One: You go to peoples places and say "Hello" and they give you lollies. That is why it is called "Hello-ing."

So we went to many peoples places that had orange and black balloons, the little ones said hello, and they got lollies. It seemed to work for them. We all had fun even though none of us really know what it is all about.

The next day Wee Golden dropped by, and I thought I would ask him what it is all about. Wee Golden thought I was silly, and he didn't tell me what it was about. Though Wee Golden did tell me something about Halloween that he thought I should know.

Wee Golden: It's not going to be Halloween for another six hundred and ninety five years.

Well that is a shame, but I think the little ones may just have enough lollies to last until then.

..

breaking records

2011-10-29T10:13:00.009+11:00

..and I don't mean smashing music on the floor.

The nature of this rambling story begins with a boy.

Wee Golden!
He has turned up!
All the way here! - On The Other Side Of Tummy Mountain!

He is very small but obviously very clever to have worked out how to get here.

Being very clever he told us that the tallest thing in the world is a giraffe.
Wee Small disagreed and said the tallest thing in the world is a house.
Wee Golden, being very clever, didn't miss a beat when he revised his first statement and told us that the tallest thing in the world is a giraffe on the roof of a house.

At this point the Tummy Mountain Department of Measurements and Weights intervened, in the interests of scientific accuracy, to present this graph in the form of an equation, ensuring that there cannot be any confusion as to what is the Tallest Thing in the World.

The evidence is pretty compelling. Neither the giraffe or the house can quite claim the record, but when combined it is incontrovertible. Government agencies from across the globe have contacted the little ones to update their data.

This is sure to get an entry in "The Tummy Book of Records" right after Wee Tiny's sensational "Most Butterflies Chased Across A Garden In a Ten Minute Period."

..

the past

2011-10-22T09:54:00.006+11:00

Time flies and I have been unpacking, unpacking, unpacking boxes forever. Even though we have been on the other side of tummy mountain for a month now there are still many more boxes to go. The little ones love all these boxes - raw materials for time machines, spaceships, cubby houses.

The little ones are doing their wee things, but I have not been focused enough in my role as Tummy Mountain Official Chronicler to bring you an update on the momentous events in their lives. I am sure if there is an official inquiry I will be sacked for negligence and incompetence. But who would take my place? I am certain that not only is my role hereditary - it is also lifelong! I am afraid they will just have to put up with me.

And so instead - a tale of the past. Inspired by comments from the last post.

When I was as wee as Wee Small I was playing with my Lego in the lounge room. I had made a spaceship that was about a foot and a half long. Just the right size for deep space exploration under the command of the heroic Captain Kraarg. Admiring Lego citizens gathered at the launch pad as final preparations were being made. Even my mother came to watch, though she wasn't smiling and waving like the Lego citizens - in fact she looked quite angry. She squatted down to get a closer view, she picked up the spaceship, and then she hurled it into the high ceiling where it exploded! Scattering debris over the entire lounge room, and leaving a shattered fuselage stuck in the ceiling like some huge sick plastic insect, from which occasional pieces of Lego rained down.

Well that was a bit unexpected.

Being a small child I was a bit confused, but I had worked something out over the intervening seconds - I was in trouble - probably very big trouble.

Was it that the Lego had taken over the entire lounge room for a week?
Should I have contained Space Station Xaxxar to the corner of the room?
Had I been asked to clean it up?
I do not recall.

Even though I was very small I knew instinctively that this was not good and that I would be in even more trouble when my father got home, and that maybe right now was a good time to run away.

Nervously I looked up at my mother quivering with rage. She pointed the "don't even think about going anywhere" finger at me and stormed out of the room to get a broom to knock the stuck fuselage pieces down from the ceiling.

Seconds ticked by.

I stood still.

So many emotions coursing through me - scared, nervous, and also strangely elated at the most thrilling flight that any of my spaceships had ever made! And to a destination that none of them had ever been before! The Mysterious Planet Urgruggtheesh with Inverted Gravity - only a legend to the most seasoned space explorers, but now a reality because of Captain Kraarg's amazing piloting skills after unknown difficulties during take off. Sure, the spaceship was obliterated but Captain Kraarg was safe and hanging upside down in the wreckage, smiling.

My mother, purple with rage, re-entered the atmosphere of the lounge room. Now was probably not the time to mention how funny Captain Kraarg looked hanging upside-down from the ceiling. She used the broom to knock most of the rest of it down. Except for a few pieces that had gone into the plaster and had pushed a hole through the ceiling. Those bits had to be taken down by standing on a ladder - which my father did when he got home. He was not impressed and I was punished old school style even though it was not me that wrecked the ceiling. The injustice of life!

For many years afterwards we had a strange hole in the ceiling and very clear circular impressions of Lego in the plasterwork. A reminder of the past until one day as a teenager it was repaired and painted over becoming just a memory of the past.

..

the games small people play

2011-10-06T08:06:00.000+11:00

Wee Small and Wee Tiny were playing a board game together. It didn't quite work as Wee Small can't read, and Wee Tiny can't play because she loses the pieces, sits on the board, complains when it is not her go, and wanders off sometimes (as you do when you are very tiny.)

- neither of them like to lose.

Let's skip over that part and get to the bit about packing up the game.
Which neither of them did.

This is how it went; Wee Small stopped The Little One as she walked past. The Little One had not participated in the game at all, yet to Wee Small's reasoning The Little One (being the eldest) should be the one to pack it up as she knew where the game went on the shelf, whereas Wee Small (being small) did not.

The Little One reasoned that she had nothing to do with it and wasn't going to put it away. An argument began.

Let's skip that part.

I think we all know that I packed up the game.

Let's skip that part.

Non-stop thrills and spills

2011-09-29T14:36:00.005+10:00

The Tummy Channel is back!

Tummy Mountain now sends it's signal from even further away from the bright lights and big smoke than ever before. The mountain is rounder and steeper. The croaking frogs are definitely louder.

And yet despite distance and obscurity, The Tummy Channel is still the Number One Broadcaster of the Love of Jumping Up and Down on the Couch!

A big hello to all our followers of the extreme sport of Couch Jumping wherever they may be in this wide wide world.

Yes, even as I write this post I can hear a lot of the kind of giggling and crashing noises that our premium athletes typically make when warming up for a Serious Championship Bout of Leaping on the Sofa.

In fact, this picture has just hit the Tummy News desk right now:

Yes fellow sport lovers, you can be assured that this station, the only one using State of the Art TummyVision, will bring you the latest and greatest exploits and adventures of the little ones as they occur!

Bye Now!

We interrupt this program...

2011-09-21T09:03:00.001+10:00

...to bring you this important announcement.

The little ones and I have decided to move from one side of tummy mountain ALL THE WAY OVER to the other side of tummy mountain!

Our normal irregular broadcast will resume ...errr....soonish.

reassurance

2011-09-12T19:35:00.000+10:00

One day I took the little ones on a picnic by a beautiful stretch of water. I had all the yummy snacks, and all the food that the little ones would eat as well, but I forgot the picnic blanket!

"Well that was dumb!" I said all annoyed with myself.
Wee Small looked up at me with her eyes full of concern and said "but you are not dumb!"
"Ha!" I snorted cynically, "I can assure you I have made plenty of dumb mistakes!"
"But those are just mistakes." she reassured me.

How right she is to separate the two. I felt much better.

time flies

2011-09-02T17:26:00.001+10:00

Wee Small just told me that she hasn't worn a hat for twenty years.

wobbly

2011-08-28T09:32:00.004+10:00

Wee Small has a wobbly tooth.
She wobbles and wobbles and wobbles the tooth.
"Look at my wobbly tooth!" she tells me excitedly.

I can't look. It makes my stomach queasy to watch that tooth wobbling back and forth like a small white door opening and shutting.

"How does the Tooth Fairy know whose teeth have fallen out?" asks Wee Small, with her fingers in her mouth at the same time.
"Well...errr...." I begin uncertainly "Each time a child wobbles a tooth back and forth it rings a wee bell in the Tooth Fairy's castle. So she gets a bit of time to check the address and prepare."

Wee Small's eyes open in wonder and a bit of thinking goes on in her wee head.
She starts wobbling the tooth with renewed vigour. Making me queasier, and wishing I hadn't said that. Wee Small must be making sure the Tooth Fairy get's the address just right.

I don't know why, but I am sure that tooth is tolling like a big deep bell in her castle and keeping the tooth fairy awake.

mysterious messages

2011-08-25T09:09:00.001+10:00

Today the little ones received a secret message in the mail. It seems to be from Secret Agent Etsy.

Clearly there is a mission afoot. The little ones donned the appropriate attire with haste to dramatic music!

little ones in disguise!

Then the little ones read the secret message.
"It says xnmjpplgh gjkk rgeeui" said Wee Tiny,
"It is a secret code." said Wee Golden
"Do I get a chocolate ice cream?" asked Wee Tiny
"Yes,'" said Wee Small

The little ones spent the next ten minutes hunting for clues under rocks, in trees and then {with the help of The Little One (being the eldest)} they found the chocolate ice cream in the freezer!

The little ones were quite happy with their success on this secret mission. I, however am baffled about what it all means. What is it all about?

sniffles

2011-08-21T09:34:00.004+10:00

I have the sniffles. I want to lie on the couch and do nothing.

Wee Golden has wandered up to tummy mountain again and he has this to say about himself;

"My power is a wolf and my power is I can do a anything," says Wee Golden
"Well that is the best power to have," I reply.

I hope being able to do anything means he can take my sniffles away, you know, in the cause of good and all that.

butterflies

2011-08-18T08:35:00.001+10:00

Wee Tiny was sleeping when she roused herself, looked around blearily and said "butterflies."

She then lay back down and went back to sleep.

A few minutes later she sat up and said "butterflies" again.

But this time she did not lie down and go back to sleep.

So I said "yes, butterflies."

Wee Tiny seemed satisfied and went back to sleep.

some very small ponies

2011-08-14T22:24:00.002+10:00

here we go again

2011-08-07T10:00:00.003+10:00

Well I suppose you can say here is a new ending to an age old story. Or maybe a more accurate ending.

"Is it ready yet?"
"No."
"When will it be ready?"
"Not now."
"Will it be ready soon?"
"Yes, soon."
"Is soon now?"
"No, soon is not now."
"So it is not soon?"
"No, it is not soon yet."
"Why isn't it ready?! I have been very impatient!"

...and another thing

2011-08-02T13:01:00.006+10:00

Wee Golden had a few more things to say;

"I am saving up for the one thousand dollars," said Wee Golden
"Really," I responded "What are you going to buy?"
"Six houses and a pony."
"Hmmm..." said I, not really sure what to say to that.
"Yes." continued Wee Golden, "I'll give you the pony."
"Why thank you, but where would I keep a pony?"
Wee Golden thought for a moment, had a look around, and then he told me.
"In a gate." he said
"A gate? I want to keep it in the house."
"You can't do that!" said Wee Golden with a look of concern on his wee cherubic face.
"Well why not?" said I.
"Because when you are asleep it will lick your face."

..errr...

2011-07-25T20:49:00.009+10:00

Wee Golden wandered up to tummy mountain today. There must have been a lot on his mind as he went straight into some very deep existential analysis about life, and indeed death.

This is what he had to say;

"When you die and go up to heaven, the heaven guy shoots you in the stomach."
"Why?" I asked
"Because he is a mean and selfish guy," stated Wee Golden quite matter of factly.
"errr..."
"And they speak like this; 'jukka hukka chooka gabbah wukka choogah chukkah.'"
"errr.." I repeated
"And they eat people."
"Why?"
"They don't have any food." said Wee Golden, "Heaven is a bad planet."
"Ahh. And so what happens when you die?" I asked
"You always go up to heaven. I think they have a sucking machine."

Well apart from being startled I thought all of that is a new angle I haven't heard before.
..

cause for celebration

2011-07-18T18:51:00.005+10:00

Wee Golden had come to stay for a few days. I knew it was his birthday coming up so I asked Wee Golden when it was.

"My birthday is on the August of July."

..

tying up loose ends

2011-07-10T09:42:00.003+10:00

Wee Small and I were not very far from Tummy Mountain when a car drove by.

Wee Small piped up and said;

"The good thing is if that car ran over you, I could go and bury you somewhere. And I could walk home, because it is a short way home."

stuff

2011-07-06T19:15:00.003+10:00

Wee Tiny had lost her wee handbag somewhere. It was full to the brim with her most precious things. We searched everywhere for her handbag.
It was the second time that she had lost it today.
Wee Small found it near the "jumpoline."
I tried to be gentle when I told Wee Tiny "You need to remember not to forget this bag."
Wee Small rushed to Wee Tiny's defense and told me "When you're tiny you don't think about stuff sometimes."

True. Big people don't think about stuff sometimes either.

is there a doctor in the house?

2011-06-29T13:16:00.002+10:00

Little Hoot is having surgery. It seems that his wing is hanging off. Little Hoot is a little bit worried, but he shouldn't be. Wee Small informs me that Manatee will be performing the operation.

Manatee has apparently admitted that he hasn't performed any surgical tasks ever, but not to worry, he is a very good doctor.

Little Hoot is lying on the operation table. There are a lot of buzzing noises - these come from Wee Small's mouth (she is assisting Dr. Manatee with the operation). It seems Manatee is performing the operation using a knitting needle.

"Is that the right way to operate?" I ask.
"Yes," replies Wee Small. "Little Hoot can't feel anything. He is frozen solid."
"Err, well, lucky for him I suppose."
"Yes," continues Wee Small "Manatee is using those tweezers that doctors use. What are those tweezers called?"
"Err... tweezers?" I guess
"Well," says Wee Small "Manatee doesn't have any of those tweezers so he is using a peg."
"Oh..."
"And Manatee is fixing hoot with the peg," she continues "...and he is also using the peg to get rid of Little Hoots fleas."
"He has fleas?!?!"
"Yes, lots of fleas. Look at all the big fleas that Manatee found."

Wee Small shows me some fluff.

"Ahh... " I reply with relief, "Well that must feel better for Little Hoot, but I thought he needed his wing fixed."
"We're not up to the Wing. We are up to the fleas. It's very serious. He needs to go into the squishing machine."
"The squishing machine?!?"
"Yes , he is a little thin. He needs to be nice and fat. This is going to hurt a lot."
"The squishing machine?" I repeated
"And NOW!" Wee Small shouts, "Manatee WILL FIX Hoot's wing in TEN SECONDS FLAT!"
"What happened to the squishing machine?" I repeat. Wee Small ignores this.
"La la la la la la LA LA" sings Wee Small, "la la la LA LA."

Little Hoot falls off the operating table and onto the floor. Wee Small is not happy about that. It seems that this will hinder Manatee's attempt to fix Little Hoot's wing in ten seconds flat.

"Okay! Let's do this properly now!" she states with a certain grim determination. Does that mean it wasn't being fixed properly before?

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight..."

Wee Small realizes at this point that it is going to take Manatee more than ten seconds.

"...nine, NiiiNNE, um....,nnnnniiiiinnnne, um ....nnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeee, nnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee, nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnNnNNNnNnNnNnNnNnNNnnNnNnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Wee Small is running out of breath making that 9th second last for minutes.

And at this point of the operation I was called away urgently to perform some more mundane duties, and missed the thrilling conclusion. Later on I asked Wee Small how did it go.

"Oh Little Hoot was alright," she remarks casually, "except that he fainted."
"Was it the shrinking machine?" I asked. I just can't let that go.
"No! It was because he had just had his wing stitched up." replied Wee Small "And Dr. Manatee said he had to stay in bed for three days or he'd get angry with Hoot."

I am pretty certain that Little Hoot did not follow Dr. Manatee's advice. I don't think it matters much as Dr. Manatee is a quack.

Mistaken identity

2011-06-25T09:34:00.005+10:00

One day whilst preparing a roast dinner I sensed that something was not right, that someone was unhappy.

Call it intuition.
I looked to see who was upset.

It was Manatee.

He wasn't moving, but he gazed at me with one fierce eye to indicate that he was displeased with the roast dinner and in particular what I was about to do to a sweet potato.

One look at the sweet potato and it was obvious.

I apologized immediately to Manatee and gave him the sweet potato. He didn't say anything but I could tell he was relieved.

Moments later I saw them outside playing together.

It seems Manatee thinks of the sweet potato as another manatee - perhaps a little brother or a friend.

Well I suppose I could roast some turnips instead.

overdue introductions

2011-06-15T11:39:00.003+10:00

Wee Small likes to spend all of her time barefoot. Her toes need to be in constant touch with the earth. However, it is winter on tummy mountain, which means sometimes I insist on shoes and socks. The kind without holes.

And sometimes we have to buy new socks.

The Little One (being the eldest) and Wee Small made Little Hoot out of Wee Small's new socks. They think I don't know that.

The Little One (being the eldest) made the body. And Wee Small did the eyes and wings.

introducing Little Hoot

I don't know where the little ones have put the other sock. They must have disposed of the evidence.

snug

2011-06-09T14:26:00.002+10:00

10:37am on Tummy Mountain

2011-05-29T15:53:00.005+10:00

the end of the world is nigh

2011-05-16T10:11:00.004+10:00

Wee Small: What would happen if someone poured water on the sun. Would it go out?

Me: Err...um....it would have to be an awful lot of water...

Wee Small: But what if they left the hose on all day?

...

STOP PRESS: Little Ones Mix Stuff in a Bowl!

2011-05-10T09:31:00.004+10:00

Today the little ones made the front page news by mixing many unknown ingredients in a bowl!

Millions of casual observers were spellbound by the mystery! Is it flour and water? Or is it, as I suspect, flour and egg and orange peel and dirt and sticks?

Is this a heart warming scene of small ones helping out?
Or is it one of those times where you spend hours cleaning up the mess?
Or both?
Will we ever know?

STOP PRESS: In space nobody can hear you eating chocolate cake

2011-05-05T13:45:00.009+10:00

Scientists and pop musicians of the past have been baffled for ages by that old question "Is there life on Mars?" - or even out in the galaxies somewhere, anywhere?

The tummy mountain space-agency (TuMS) has dedicated a considerable amount of time (in between playing and bathtime) and resources (who could believe that there was that much stickytape!?!) to succeed in confirming that there is life on Saturn.

Two tummynauts using Ladder v2.01 for their successful trip to Saturn.

Detractors of this historic mission have pointed out that the tummynauts did not originate from Saturn, and therefore the big questions are not answered. The tummy mountain space-agency (TuMS) has responded that those spoilsports are not invited to the party at our place, and therefore cannot have any ice cream cake or fizzy drink.

In a second best effort which really should be applauded, the American Museum of Natural History, while lacking the scissors, paper and stickytape of TuMS, have responded with their make believe fairy tale of outer space.

Anyone with the ladder building skills of the tummy mountain space agency can clearly conclude this is ridiculous.

The Blog of a Few Weeks Ago

2011-05-02T19:43:00.006+10:00

Being of a not too highly organised nature, nor as thorough as the esteemed and privileged role of Tummy Mountain Chronicler deserves, I sometimes miss things, or watch things fly by in the afternoon as I sip on a cup of tea without realising what happened.

Such as being featured as "Blog of the Week" on I Speak Melsh. That was a few weeks ago. So now I would like to proudly say that Tummy Mountain is the blog of "A Few Weeks Ago."

It kind of feels like a few weeks ago around here anyway. Grass is a bit too long - may need the giant rabbit to trim it a bit.

absence makes the heart grow fonder

2011-04-28T08:43:00.002+10:00

Wee Small, arms spread out, ran up to me and hugged my knees. Her little face looked all the way up to my face, as she yelled at me happily;

"It's so good to see you! I haven't seen you for five minutes!"

A pet is an essential part of childhood

2011-04-24T12:09:00.006+10:00

Wee Small can whistle. A little breathy perhaps, but a whistle nonetheless.

I could hear her walking around outside whistling. She was whistling to her new pet.

And I could hear her say "Come on, come on Bumble"

Bumble is a bee.

"Come on bumble, let's go!"

I should add that Bumble is not too good at following when called.

the zoo

2011-04-19T07:16:00.001+10:00

One day the little ones and I packed up all our stuff and went off to the zoo to see the baby elephant. He was very cute.

But this is not about him.

It is about a photo I took of a gorilla.

Being a parent, and in the interests of safety, I feel compelled to alert the little ones about the dangers of hanging upside-down off the roof, sticking forks into eyeballs, etc.

And sometimes I feel I am talking and talking while no-one is listening.

Sometimes I feel like this gorilla.

Okay, enough about being a parent.

Here is Mr. Snuffles:

marsupial

2011-04-14T07:06:00.002+10:00

Those in immanent proximity to little ones for extended hours always appreciate a good nights sleep.

Mr. Possum loves to sleep too.

He sleeps all day, and then he likes to travel down the newly finished 8 lane possum super highway. He likes to do this at the hour that is technically referred to as " the dead of night."

I like to be scientific and accurate when composing these chronicles. So there are three stages in Mr. Possum's journey;

The first stage is on the aforementioned possum superhighway's on-ramp - a young freshly surfaced branch that reaches the roof. He is as noiseless as a ninja on that. This gives Mr. Possum the element of surprise.

Stage Two comprises of the sound of Mr. Possum's little scratchy feet scuttling over the roof. Stage Two is an underrated yet important process preceding Stage Three. It is what is called "the setup" - the little scratchy feet take the professional sleeper out of REM - dead to the world sleep, into post hypnotic dozing, and thus suggestible to any prompting. If it wasn't for the scratchings and scuttlings of Stage Two, then Stage Three could not occur.

Then comes "The Leap of Faith." There are people around here that argue "the leap" is a stage in itself. Purists like myself see it only as a transitional jump - a daring and huge one at that, but a jump all the same.

Stage Three is the precise moment the jump finishes. It is the shortest stage as our acrobatic aeronautical pre-flight possum lands with a resounding crash on a tin roof. The empty shed amplifies the sound, and (as the little ones have thoughtfully left the shed door open after playing in there) the amplified noise travels straight back towards me in Stage Two affected sleep where I wake up yelling in fright.

the alleged possum

The little ones, however, sleep peacefully through all of this. They wake up fresh and happy on a brand new day, all ready to play in the shed again.

mysteries of nature

2011-04-10T10:54:00.003+10:00

Scientists have been agog at a new species of Echidna (kind of hedgehog, kind of spiny ant-eater) that has been found rambling along, quietly enjoying itself on tummy mountain.

Scientists have named the new species "spikus potaticus"
It is unknown at this stage what this creature eats, where it dwells, or why it has been mysteriously undiscovered until now.

After much poking and prodding, Spikus Potaticus, sick of all the attention, bumbles off into the distance.

new friends

2011-04-05T10:15:00.003+10:00

Wee Tiny has some new friends.

They are her toes.

I didn't quite catch all their names, but she told me in her little voice "that one is Big Sister, and that one is Little Sister, and that one is Rose, and that one is Harmonica, and that one is..."

such lovely names

It doesn't add up

2011-03-26T20:41:00.003+11:00

Wee Small had a new present. A pink calculator. Or as Wee Small called it "a calcliator."
Wee Small loved it. Did I mention it was pink?

Wee Tiny also liked Wee Small's calcliator. But she thought it was a phone. Wee Tiny liked it so much she ran off with it and put it in her pink vinyl handbag of special things. Inside the handbag was a toy wombat, a magic wand, and now the calcliator. I should also mention that the handbag was filled to the brim with water.

In Wee Tiny's mind, the pink phone, aka calcliator, was the perfect matching accessory to her handbag.

Needless to say the calcliator did not receive any calls, or do basic subtraction, after immersion in water.

swan song

2011-01-17T01:07:00.003+11:00

I have not heard the song of a swan.

I am however signalling that once more I must leave tummy mountain for a wee while. This should be the last time (thus swan metaphors) and I am hoping that when I return I will be able to hide somewhere up here (maybe behind the shed) where The Work won't find me. Then when The Work has passed by I will once more chronicle the adventures of the little ones.

Though, having said that there are a few adventures that the little ones have had that I am yet to write up, so hopefully those will be here soon.

It saddens me to know that when the little ones awake I will be gone for some weeks, I will miss them as I always do. Everyday they give me such joy and share with me their insights and secrets of their little world.

I can't wait to be back.

name that tune

2011-01-16T09:58:00.001+11:00

The Little One wanted me to play a song that she heard. She does not know if I have the song or if she heard it on the radio. She does not know the name of the song, the performer, the style of the music, or any lyric in the song to give me a clue, or any clues in general. Or even if I have heard it or have the song in my collection. Mere trivialities.

However she helps me by singing it to me;

The Little One: It goes like this " duuuhh...Nahhh, dah nuuuh". You know that one?
Me: Err, no err, do you know who sang it?
The Little One: No, but it goes "duhh nah, Daaaahh nahHH!"
Me: Err no. All I know is that you say it goes "da nah, da nah!"
The Little One: Yes that's it! " Dah naah, daah naahhhh." What is that song?
Me: Well how would I know!??
The Little One: But it goes "da nah, da nah"

The Little One is getting upset with me. It is as though I am deliberately provoking her by not knowing the song. Wee Small decides to help. She adds something which she thinks has been missing in clarifying what the song actually is.

Wee Small: It goes like this " duuuhh...Nahhh, dah nuuuh."
The Little One: No it doesn't, it goes "daaah NNANHHH, DDDAHHH, naaahhh"
Wee Small: No it doesn't it goes "daaah NNANHHH, DDDAHHH, naaahhh"
The Little One: No it doesn't...

It seems there is a disagreement on how it goes. This continues until Wee Tiny breaks it up.

Wee Tiny: Pony!

Wee Tiny is very small.

We left it at that until The Little One remembered some of the words and began singing it:

The Little One: "Welcome to the good ship California"

Ah the Good Ship California! Well that clears that up.

..

this modern world deserves a modern attitude

2011-01-08T10:12:00.013+11:00

One may be forgiven in thinking that the little ones live a pastoral existence, unaware of the impact of technology. However occasional forays away from tummy mountain expose the small ones to the ways and processes of systems in densely urbanized areas.

They absorb it, and then months later it all resurfaces in their own ideas and creations.

Thus, going outside one day I encountered the latest in tummy mountain technology, or TummyTech™ as I like to think of it. Obviously this is a ticket machine or dispenser, as The Little One (being the eldest) has clearly written on the front surface (and only surface) of the device.

I don't understand a few things;

1.) What kind of tickets does it dispense?
2.) What were we doing happily for free that now requires payment?
3.) What are the ominous 23.4 markings? Are they something to do with a secret society?
4.) Have we finally been found by "The Man" ?
5.) Is this the end of the carefree life of tummy mountain?

...

the world spinning in space

2011-01-01T12:51:00.005+11:00

A new year on tummy mountain.

We saw the old year off by making a wee bush walk to a little beach where one can see the distant fireworks from a place known as "civilisation."

On the beach there was a lot of running around to be had, and some swimming. There was also "looking at crabs" and collecting of seaweed.

Wee Tiny decided that all the sand on the beach could be heaped up onto the picnic blanket rendering it unusable.

She liked that.

Then all the fireworks and loud explosions began.
She did not like that. Not at all.

Fireworks are just not the same when you are very small.

a wave to my fellow tummies

2010-12-31T13:18:00.000+11:00

Time to gather up the little ones and wave goodbye to the old year trundling off into the distance.

I feel like I have spent a good deal of time trundling off into the distance myself over the course of the year. I have a lot of dreams that I wish to make come true if I can find the time. I am hoping to spend next year happily gazing at the window, Manatee by my side, listening to the "Chorus of the Cicadas" in D minor, and watching the small ones pretending to be turtles.

A big hello from all the little ones to you who have followed their adventures, and have shared your wisdom and your little one's wisdom with us all. I hope everyone has a happy new year and that a nice cup of tea always appears at your side when you need it.

home fix it

2010-12-27T10:38:00.001+11:00

Why is there is a hole in the wall?
It wasn't there when I went outside.
I am going to have to fix it somehow.
I asked the little ones how would they fix it.

"With a piece of pottery." suggests The Little One.

"With a piece of wall." suggests Wee Small .

christmas cards

2010-12-19T10:30:00.000+11:00

Wee Small has been drawing a few Christmas cards for family and friends. But it was beginning to become a little bit too much work for someone small of stature. So she thought of a brilliant solution.

"I am going to draw one big card for all of them." she declared.

The Little One, being the eldest, immediately detected the flaw in her reasoning.

"But they all live in different places, and Nana lives in New Zealand.

"Oh." said Wee Small.

happy

2010-12-15T10:22:00.000+11:00

rituals

2010-12-10T11:07:00.003+11:00

So happy to be back after a long stint of nonsense far far away, and even more happy that I have returned just in time for a a ritual that takes place every year in our wee family.

For it is tonight that we shall climb up to the highest point on tummy mountain to catch a few stars for our christmas tree.

We shall have our arms outstretched and there may be a lot of jumping up and down.

hints

2010-11-14T19:44:00.005+11:00

The Little One, being the eldest, stared into the refrigerator and decided that something had to be done about the lack of tasty food in there.

So she made her own shopping list. It has all the ingredients for something that I think she is suggesting I should cook.

Well I am not good at taking a hint.
I think I'll cook cat food pie.

a little song

2010-11-01T19:56:00.000+11:00

dazed

2010-10-08T20:30:00.004+11:00

Well I was away for a lot longer than I thought, and will be soon again.
The little ones are not happy about this.
Neither am I.

I tried to comfort them with platitudes, and then a platypus, but that didn't work.

"Little Ones, every cloud has a silver lining," I said
"No they don't," replied Wee Small. "They would drop out of the sky."

away

2010-09-17T11:24:00.003+10:00

Once again I have been called away from tummy mountain to do what I do in the wider world. It is always heartbreaking to see their little faces in tears as I leave.

"It is only for ten days, and then I will be back" I say to try and reassure them.
"Ten days!" they exclaim. I have just made it worse.

It is a strange thing that ten days is such a small amount of time when you are older, and forever when you are younger. Time is the same, just perception of time changes with age.

I long to run out in a golden field at the start of a day with nothing but hope and expectation and the knowledge that it is going to be another incredible day in that land where reality and imagination walk hand in hand.

That land is childhood.

DEADLOCK

2010-09-10T18:25:00.006+10:00

Gripping, and thrilling, and as I write this is still unresolved. In the spirit of Democracy the little ones had decided to have a vote amongst themselves about what kind of food they would like to go into their wee tummies for dinner.

Echoing the recent political circumstances of this country, the vote was divided evenly amongst those who wished for the healthy and invigorating tasty Laksa, and those who wished for the not so healthy at all but very tasty Bacon and Eggs (which would normally be a breakfast meal but when the little ones decide what they want for dinner, well, anything can happen.)

Initially when it was revealed that the vote was divided evenly, the little ones tried to use the time honoured tie breaking technique of winning by shouting louder than their opponents. I have noticed that this technique also seems to work for politicians. If that would work amongst the little ones then Wee Small would win hands down.

Alas for her, fairer democratic methods were attempted, such as vote stacking. This technique works for politicians as well. Some of the little ones enrolled their toys to win the vote. There was a lot of yelling about how many billion times infinity votes there were for the two dinners, but unfortunately some of the toys got confused as to what they were voting for, particularly Manatee who voted for Spaghetti.

I don't think Manatee even likes Spaghetti.

excuses

2010-09-05T12:17:00.004+10:00

A bright sunny day on Tummy Mountain and quite windy! Maybe the wind is bringing Spring ever closer. What I would love to do on such a day is to take a walk in the countryside. But we really have to so a bit of a spring cleaning.

I wander off to find the little ones to ask them to help. I am sure they will be pleased.
They are all sitting on an old chair in a field staring at the branches of a huge tree moving in the wind.

"If you have nothing to do you can help me" I say.
They start looking around desperately for a way out. Wee Smalls face brightens.
"I do have something to do!" replied Wee Small defiantly, "And that is looking at my foot!"

Well I have heard some excuses in my time, but that was certainly something new.

"Sometimes I wish I was a tree for the clean up" says The Little One with a wistful tone. "Trees don't have to clean anything."

spring

2010-08-28T08:23:00.001+10:00

When it is spring time the little ones just cannot help but spring.

morbidity

2010-08-12T09:50:00.001+10:00

I was reading a story to the little ones last night, and in the story a wee dog died.
Of course there were tears all round.
Except for Wee Tiny who asked me if I had ever been dead.

"Not yet."

the simple things

2010-08-09T10:34:00.000+10:00

Sometimes things happen away from tummy mountain when I go away to do the things I have to do. These usually have nothing to do with the lives of the little ones, and thus are not chronicled here. But this next concept has a lot to do with the little ones so here it is.

I work with a fellow that was asked once by what criteria he was assessing the job we had done together. His response was that he was "using the Mark 1 Eyeball."

(here on tummy mountain "Mark 1" is like saying "Version 1" or "Phase 1")

I love this phrase. In a world of high tech gadgetry nothing can beat the simplicity of looking at it with your own eyes.

I have looked around since then to see what other "Mark 1" products are in use or needed. I work with another fellow who is in desperate need of the "Mark 1 Bag" to put all the things he keeps losing in it, such as laptops and passports. Another person I work with has just discovered the "Mark 1 Wallet" which has stopped him from losing his money all the time. He just needs to work on the keys now.

Back on tummy mountain one of the favourite things is the nice and simple "Mark 1 Cardboard Box." Cannot be beaten.

A very large example of these turned up the other day. Contents of no importance to the little ones at all. First the little ones turned it into a cubby house, then they turned it into a giant rolling tube with all of them in it at once, and then they opened it up and made it into a slide upon which they rode in smaller versions of the "Mark 1 Cardboard Box."

Lastly, after the rain had destroyed the "Mark 1 Cardboard Box," the cat stalked it, pounced upon it, and ripped it to shreds.

How marvellous is life.

songbird

2010-08-06T17:20:00.005+10:00

Wee Small is making something with beads. I don't know what it is but she is using blue beads. As she uses the blue beads she sings a little song. The song goes;

A bluey, a bluey, a blue blue blue blue a bluey.
A bluey, a bluey, a blue blue blue blue a bluey.
A bluey, a bluey, a blue blue blue blue a bluey.
A bluey, a bluey, a blue blue blue blue a bluey.
A bluey, a bluey, a blue blue blue blue a bluey.

and so on.

It turns out she is making a sky, and she has just started.

at last

2010-08-04T10:48:00.004+10:00

At last the sun has come out, and the little ones rush outside. I can see that they are all riding their imaginary horses to someplace far far away with a tea party for all of their toys.

At the end of the day I will sit by the fire and bask in it's heat, and I will be able to hear about all their adventures.

There is always so much to look forward to.

some more words

2010-07-30T15:47:00.000+10:00

The little ones were playing with some small dolls. The dolls were taking an imaginary walk in a forest. As part of the story Wee Tiny said "then they met a big scary frog!"
And Wee Small shouted "No! Then they met Yellow Mellow P!"
At that point the little ones screamed.

I suppose I would too if I was in the forest and met the letters "L,M,N,O,P."

a few words

2010-07-27T08:31:00.006+10:00

Wee Little is very little. She is just beginning to talk. She only has a few words and she uses them very effectively.

One word is "mine." Of course anything she can see is "mine." Needless to say everything is "hers." My particular favourite items that she owns are the things she sees when we travel away from tummy mountain. Like trucks. Every time she sees a truck her eyes light up and she bellows "mine!"

Two other words are "I not." These are used whenever she is doing something she shouldn't be doing. To be fair to her she is so little that she hasn't quite learnt that drawing on the couch and then watering it are not, well, not really allowed.

mystery

2010-07-21T11:33:00.003+10:00

There was a wee problem with the strawberries. It seems that they had all been eaten, and not in a just, fair, and democratic way.

Wee Tiny, Wee Small, and The Little One were puzzled until Wee Small decided to tally it all up to see what had happened.

"Well, there were six strawberries,"she began "and I ate two..."
"And I ate four" added Wee Tiny
"And I only ate three." said The Little One.
"So where are all the other strawberries?" asked Wee Small.

It is indeed a mystery.

The times they are a changin'

2010-07-13T10:02:00.001+10:00

I have two things to write about today. Two subjects that I feel merge into one.

1.) The Little One, being the eldest is, as you would expect, quite proficient in all aspects of optics, particularly in regard to polarized lenses.

2.) Idyllic and pastoral as tummy mountain is, we keep an eye on the current state of things in the world at large, and feel compelled occasionally to move with the times.

Thus The Little One has made a pair of glasses for "Little One" (pictured below.) So now when we enter the wide world she can also view one of these new fashioned 3d movies.

"Little One" created by Tiddlywinks
"Little One" is wearing a lavender nightie designed by Nanna
"Little One" is sporting a pair of 3d glasses by The Little One

I am hoping that these lenses have not been made with Professor Manatee's spectacles. I really do.

Regarding the Importance of Names

2010-07-10T09:53:00.001+10:00

When you are very small you may have a toy duck, and it's name may be "duck."
When you are a wee bit older a toy duck may be called "Lucy."

Wee Small is somewhere in between and she has a family of toy hedgehogs.

She was telling me their names.

"This one is called "Hedgehoggy" and this one is called "Hedgehoggin" and this one is called "Hedgehoggshia" and this one is called "Hedgehogroller" and this little one is called "Sneakhedgy"

waiting

2010-07-08T09:42:00.004+10:00

One day Wee Tiny was gazing out the window, waiting for all the little ones to come home and play. She was all alone... well.... except for me of course.

She waited and waited and waited.
She looked out the window mournfully and waited some more. Soft drizzling rain fell and made everything wet.

"Don't worry," I comforted. "They will all be back in a little while."
Wee Tiny replied "No, I think they will be back in two whiles."

Cause for Concern

2010-06-29T07:58:00.006+10:00

I thought I was going away for two days, but came back 10 days later. On my return I thought that a wonderful seafood dinner would be a marvellous treat for all the little ones.

Wee Small gazed at the feast and declared "I'm never eating a crab in my life. It might come alive and chomp my heart."

"Oh." I said. I hadn't prepared for that. There was only one thing I could think of to do in such a situation.

I bravely ate all the delicious crab myself and left the little ones with no cause for fear, well... except the small concern that my heart would be eaten.

declarations of love

2010-06-14T08:48:00.000+10:00

Wee Tiny came up to me and told me how much she loves me.
"I love you a bit more than my bed." she said.

What can you say to that?

starving artist

2010-06-06T10:52:00.005+10:00

I was woken up by Wee Tiny who informed me she needed food as she is a great artist.
Blearily I peered at her.

"I need food in my tummy or I'll only draw scribbles." she explained.

I complied promptly with her wishes as I was not alert yet, and hadn't noticed that it was still dark.

What great art would be started while it is still dark?
The answer can only be a masterpiece.

the circus

2010-05-24T10:50:00.005+10:00

Once again the travelling circus has swept me up and taken me away from tummy mountain, and in particular the little ones. Gone is the immediacy of everything that the little ones do, replaced with calmness, an empty calmness. I can only reflect now that the trials and tribulations of my day are always put into perspective by their urgent needs. Such as sticky tape and a rubber band attached to a box to make a sleigh for all the toy animals. And that there needs to be an identical amount of sticky tape and rubber bands and boxes for all the other little ones that also need to make sleighs for all their toy animals, also right now.

Which gets to the point that there is no time other than right now. What other time is there to do anything other than right now. No other time will do.

Being away from tummy mountain I can calmly ponder about the past and the future. Being there the little ones make me live in the moment. I cannot wait to return.

ponderings

2010-05-15T09:48:00.002+10:00

"When will I be 4 and a half?" wondered Wee Tiny.

"Hmmm....maybe in about 10 years?" reasoned Wee Small.

leisure

2010-05-07T09:10:00.000+10:00

Sometimes leading a life of leisure on tummy mountain requires taking a break and leading a life of leisure on vacation somewhere. So the little ones and I have gone north to where the sun shines and the swimming pool is the only place that the very small wish to be.

Sure the little ones have had to experience holiday hardships; walking around endlessly at the markets, having a yukky meal somewhere where the food doesn't taste the same as at home and hasn't been cut into the right shapes, and even gazing pointlessly as the sunsets behind the mountains creating dazzling golden reflections in the ocean.

They face those difficulties bravely until they can return to splashing in the pool - which is what vacation is really about.

dinner

2010-04-22T13:05:00.004+10:00

"I wonder what stars eat when they are hungry?" I mused out aloud.

Wee Small was ready with an answer. Her eyes and mouth opened wide as she yelled happily "They eat the sky!"

I could see The Little One bristling out of the corner of my eye. Being the eldest she felt some need to further clarify the technicalities of the star digestive system.
"It sucks in air and breaths out craters" she stated. This was accompanied by hand movements to demonstrate.

From down on the floor a little voice was heard. It was Wee Tiny and she said “porridge."

rainy days on the mountain

2010-04-16T13:49:00.004+10:00

A rainy day on tummy mountain. I love standing with a cup of hot tea and watching the drops falling off the roof, the steady downpour obscuring the trees, and to complete the mood one could imagine a light piece of music to make this sound like a scene from a movie.

Fortunately for me the little ones are providing this music by playing every note at once on every instrument at once. Delightful! Who needs to be constrained by rhythm and melody. This is enhanced by their own version of surround sound - running through every room of the house while playing instruments as loudly as possible. A curious effect on the ears.

Appearances

2010-04-10T12:42:00.003+10:00

After two weeks away from tummy mountain I returned late of an evening when all the little ones were asleep. None were up to greet me except for a very stern chap with glasses on. Closer inspection revealed it to be none other than Manatee. He looked at me sternly once more, letting the glasses drop just a touch so I could gaze directly into his eyes and register his disapproval of the hour. It seems he is now Professor Manatee. He was doing a light bit of research and I had disturbed him. A lot can change in two weeks.

I put my bags down quietly, but knocked over some books loudly. I glanced nervously back at Professor Manatee. He stared back at me, quite annoyed now. Uncanny - it was like he had not even moved.

This just couldn't be right. This couldn't be the care-free and fun loving Manatee I had left behind two weeks ago. I nonchalantly pretended to unpack for a few moments, then sprang on him while his guard was down and tore the glasses off his face!

Aha! 3d glasses! So he had been to the movies! He hadn't done a Diploma of Seaweed! He was masquerading as a professor! He was looking a bit sheepish now for an underwater mammal.

"I think we may have to deal with this in the morning," I said waggling the finger at him.

He still hadn't moved, and I could tell he cared not a fig for what I thought.

diplomacy

2010-03-21T12:02:00.009+11:00

Wee Small, shall we say, has a more boisterous and exuberant, even rowdier temperament, than The Little One. And occasionally friction occurs.

The Little One, being the eldest, has recourse to more means of diplomacy than Wee Small. So when the need arises she can take steps to avoid possible confrontations of an unsavoury nature.

Thus this sign I found this morning that The Little One has written for Wee Small.

manatee, the co-accused

It is a pity that Wee Small cannot read.

self control

2010-03-18T23:59:00.003+11:00

This week the little ones have been playing with their toy fairies. Now they are are all out and hiding in the garden. Wee Tiny has such an earnest expression on her face when she tells me the beautiful name of her fairy.

"Her name is Daisy Flower Turkey"

It is all I can do not to laugh.

the cat

2010-03-13T06:29:00.000+11:00

One morning I was sitting on the front steps in the sunshine enjoying a hot cup of tea when Wee Tiny wandered up to me to tell me her important news.

"I was talking to the cat and he looks like he understands me." said Wee Tiny

"Does he." I replied "What did you say to him?"

"What did you say?" asked Wee Tiny.

"I said 'what did you say to him?'" I repeated

"Say to who?" wondered Wee Tiny.

"The cat."

"I said he was a very nice cat and he looks like he understands me."

Understanding of Responsibilities.

2010-03-09T09:24:00.007+11:00

We all went on a picnic. The little ones had a lot of fun playing all day in the forest. What a beautiful peaceful place. As the sun went down I called to the little ones and asked them to gather up their shoes.

"I can't get my shoes!" exclaimed Wee Small as though the idea was abdsurd. "They're in the tree house!"

"What tree house?" I asked.

"Well how should I know!" responded Wee Small. She looked at me as though I was crazy.

Clearly she does not need to remember such trivialities as to which tree she has left her shoes in. Obviously this is one of my duties.

I stared at the endless forest, any tree of which could be the tree house. I think the shoes may just have to stay here.

sayings of the small

2010-03-05T08:59:00.001+11:00

Wee Tiny has a cute little way of saying " the day after tomorrow" that I just love.

It is "tomorrow but the next day."

March

2010-03-01T00:26:00.000+11:00

The little ones love March. As Wee Tiny once told me "it is the only month named after having a parade."

The Little Ones Busy Day

2010-02-20T08:31:00.007+11:00

Sometimes the little ones leave tummy mountain and come with me to places of work, offices where they engage in activities that they describe as helpful.

Such as;

Interrupting the General Manager to ask for a pencil sharpener.
Drawing butterflies all over the whiteboard of critical dates, staff and project movements.
Running up and down the stairs screaming.

The little ones presence is appreciated by all. Sure they stop all work, but they bring with them a joy of spirit needed in all offices.

mystery flavours

2010-02-15T19:23:00.004+11:00

I made a roll today for Wee Small. She wanted tuna, lettuce, and tomato and actually ate it. I was impressed.

"Did it taste good?" I asked.

"Yes. I put it in a big puddle and ate it."

the four winds of antiquity

2010-02-11T02:54:00.003+11:00

In classical literature one finds references to the four winds of antiquity. The north wind,Boreas, bringer of cold, others of Zephyrus the bringer of spring.

Here are the six winds of tummy mountain:

Old Murky: bringer of dust.

The Rattler: shaker of windows, blower of washing off the line, absconder of small light toys and paintings of horses, destroyer of cubby houses.

Icky Coldy: keeper of little ones inside, destroyer of fun

Mister Gusty: bringer of frolicsome joy, jumps with kittens, bringer of giggles

Mrs. Squalls: deliverer of puddles, tugger of umbrellas

Wee Breezee: tickler of ears, ruffler of hair

recipe of the day

2010-02-07T09:47:00.020+11:00

Wee Small does not have a teddy bear, or a doll. She does not want one. Wee Small has a Manatee. He is very round and very cuddly and his name is Manatee.

Manatees graze on sea grass.
Being on tummy mountain we do not have sea grass readily available, yet Wee Small has solved this problem.

recipe of the day

"Breakfast for Manatee"

ingredients: dried seaweed (nori for sushi)
instructions:

1. tear up seaweed into itty bitty shreds getting on clothes and floor and kitchen.
2. put remaining bits of seaweed into a bowl
3. carry bowl to table leaving a trail of seaweed through the house.

serves 1 Manatee

when one returns

2010-02-04T16:14:00.003+11:00

I wandered away from tummy mountain for a couple of nights as the needs and pressures of reality demanded me to do so.

On my return, as I crossed the river and wandered back into the foothills, I could see the little ones playing in a cardboard box. Today the cardboard box was a car. It wasn't moving very far, or at all, but it's occupants were very happy shouting at the top of their lungs' capabilities "DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE... "

They told me they had invented a dee dee car and it ran on dee dee dee, not petrol. Once again the little ones have proved to me that their scientific minds are not limited to forms of energy that one would readily expect for an alternative fuel source.

I left them, in a field, not moving, in a car running on sound.

new perspectives

2010-01-28T10:10:00.002+11:00

Wee Tiny drew a picture of the Sun, and herself holding a flower.

Wee Tiny said "That's me holding a flower. The Sun can't hold a flower. The Sun doesn't have any arms."

I have a new perspective on what the Sun can and can't do. Sure it can provide the means for photosynthesis to create flowers, but it can't hold and sniff them.

I felt a little bit sorry for the Sun.

and yet...

2010-01-23T17:02:00.006+11:00

And yet at other times Wee Small could be a bit more concise herself when describing a story.
For example:

...and then she was in a room and she was in the room on a chair and she had to do something and it was twelve and the little man came and he did it and he went away and he came back and there was a king and he was...he was...she was giving him the gold, and she gave it all to the king and she was in the room again and there wasn't a frog and...

getting to the point.

2010-01-21T17:52:00.000+11:00

The Little One, being the eldest, can spell the number nine.

"N...I...N...E" she said to me.

To which Wee Small responded "you just write 9 and that's it!"

There is no mucking about with Wee Small.

inspiration

2010-01-15T11:42:00.006+11:00

The little ones are well known for being calm, quiet and reflective. That is, when they are not jumping up and down and running around noisily.

Sometimes others are inspired by their serenity and it helps them achieve their goals. Some very technical people at Etsy have sought the wisdom of the little ones and this has helped them with their search engine.

I am hoping the little ones will be inspired in the search for lost toys, the other sock, their toothbrushes...

http://www.etsy.com/storque/etsy-news/tech-update-search-suggestions-5666/

all quiet on tummy mountain.

2010-01-07T11:45:00.001+11:00

It is the quiet and calm of January on tummy mountain. The cicadas are deafening, yet despite their perpetual chorus, the little ones have been in a post-Christmas trance like state. During one of these lazy sleepy afternoons the little ones found a chess set in a cupboard.

They drag it out and have me set it all up for them so they could play. I think maybe the pieces fascinate them. What can I say? What can I do? They are just too little to play chess, but I do not want to disappoint them. Wee Small is very direct, very matter of fact. She wants to know the rules.

"Right" says Wee Small "Where's the finish line!"

the quest for knowledge

2010-01-03T08:35:00.003+11:00

Today the little ones did a scientific experiment to see what would happen at bath time if you keep filling the tub until it overflows onto the floor. The outcome was that the entire floor got wet. I hope they find this knowledge useful or helpful in some way.

SALE crazy bargains promotions

2009-12-24T08:00:00.001+11:00

The little ones are having an end of year sale!
Your choice of 20% off, OR, buy any two tummies and get a “little tummy” for free.
Just write a wee note on the “note to seller” whether you want the 20%off refund, OR, the name of the “little tummy” you want (they’re all playing in my little tummy section) and all will be done by the little ones with extra sticky tape and smudgy fingers! Sale ends 3rd of January.

I would like to include the hysterical words "bargain" and "crazy" and "for a short time only"