Wednesday, November 26, 2014

SALES BARGAINS HYSTERICAL SHOUTING AND OTHER LOUD NOISES


It is time for tummy mountain to have a Black Friday Cyber Monday Sale. 20% OFF - at this point I would like you to imagine  YELLING SHOUTY AND ANNOYING VOICES AND MUSIC. Taking inspiration from the classiness of loud and annoying advertisements blaring out on radio and late night television the little ones bring you the Black Friday Cyber Monday Sale. The little ones are doing their own very good impression of this by running around and yelling.

Sale starts NOW and lasts until December 1st!!! And now some "Unnecessary Punctuation" for effect!!!

Enter the coupon code "WALRUS" (for want of a better word) at checkout for the discount. The Little Ones are standing by to take your orders with sticky tape, paint and maybe a story that doesn't make sense about one of their toys.

I would also like to include the hysterical words "bargain" and "crazy" and "for a short time only"

Saturday, November 15, 2014

colouring in


The tummy mountain laboratories have been working very hard to come up with a solution to one of society's major problems - little ones drawing on walls, furniture, and each other.

At long last and after vigorous testing procedures, the tummy mountain colouring book has been unveiled at a prestigious ceremony on tummy mountain. A distant sheep could be heard bleating away in the background as the assembled guests coloured away quietly. Life can be so lovely sometimes.





tummy mountain colouring book in the tummy shop on etsy


Sunday, October 19, 2014

such love

The love of your little ones for you when they make you a cup of tea... that one should overlook the technicalities of tea making and the taste and drink it all in appreciation.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

the things that little ones say can catch you off-guard.

Wee Golden's mother just popped in to say hello on tummy mountain and have a cup of tea. Whilst pouring the tea I casually inquired as to the health and well-being of her son Wee Golden. I have not seen him for quite a while and I have always been fascinated by his observations.

She replied that while Wee Golden has been in perfect health he has been rather fascinated by thoughts of a strange nature.

"How so?" I asked
"Well," she replied "He asked me if I had ever been dead before."

I thought that was an unusual question, and I thought the answer was likely to be no.

"Why did he ask that?"
"I don't know" Wee Golden's mother replied, "but he wanted me to promise him something."
"What kind of promise?" I asked.
"He said 'Mum, if I die before you, when I am in my coffin, can you stuff my mouth full of prawns.' "

..

Sunday, September 21, 2014

2015 - a year on tummy mountain

The all new "2015 a year on tummy mountain" calendar is out now!



Features include:

All twelve months!
Even September!



I was thinking to myself what should I write here and I had a wee peak at what I wrote several years ago for the 2010 Calendar and thought that was great! Why be a fount of creativity when I can regurgitate the past and call it nostalgia. So in the spirit of laziness and armed with copy and paste I bring you the all new 2015 Calendar!!! with this text blast from the past;

The little ones do not understand why people use calendars. The little ones don't know what they want to do in an hours time, let alone a few months. The idea seems a bit strange to them, and they approach calendars with a wee bit of suspicion. In the past they believed that calendars told the future, but now they know that isn't true.

As Wee Small says "How can they know the future. They can't even talk."
Wee Tiny has been looking at it "for hours" (let's translate that as really about 50 seconds) and it "doesn't spoke once!"



There you have it. Calendars - future telling wonder devices? Or a preposterous pile of poppycock?

..

Friday, September 12, 2014

One Wonders Why

It seems as though it is nothing but food around here of late.
I suppose we do love our food on tummy mountain.
I suppose as parents we try to help our little ones in the ways of the world.
And sometimes those little ones develop their own variations.

For example, Wee Small loves to eat apples. When she has finished she does not take her plate out and put the apple core in the bin. Instead she gets paper towels from the cupboard and wraps the apple core up leaving it on the plate like some strange parcel. It takes more effort to do this than put the apple core in the bin.

"Why do you do that?" I ask Wee Small
" I don't know." she replies.

This must be one of life's mysteries.

..

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

dinner is served

If one were to picture a grand restaurant with chandeliers and impeccably dressed waiters serving delicacies to diners armed with an array of fancy cutlery to enjoy the culinary delights prepared by the finest chefs, then that would be the scene I would like you to imagine is the typical dinner setting in the tummy mountain homestead.

Tonight (if we were to replace that idea with reality) I served last nights left-over Spaghetti Bolognese whilst the little ones attempted (with varying degrees of success) to tie their tongues up with strands of spaghetti while rushing backwards and forwards to the bathroom to look in the mirror at their tongues and laugh and spit the food out in the bathroom, then to return to the table to do it all again.

At least I was able to make witty puns about being tongue tied.

...

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

tears

There were tears today in the tummy mountain household. Wee Tiny was upset as the Tooth Fairy forgot to come. Let me assure everyone that has never happened before.

Wee Tiny had been very careful with the tooth - putting it in a little hand-sewn tooth pocket that Wee Small made for her.

Wee Small made Wee Tiny the pocket as last time Wee Tiny had a tooth fall out she kept it really safe - but not under her pillow as you would expect. She kept it really safe under the bathroom door.

When the bathroom door opened it dragged the tooth along making a piercing scratching noise before shattering the tooth into tiny pieces. There were tears that day too.

I am sure the Tooth Fairy is quite upset that she forgot and will be back tonight. I am really sure of that.

Friday, August 1, 2014

tummy mountain - always the home of the latest in ground breaking technology.

The little ones are very current with their grasp of technology here on tummy mountain. They have abandoned those silly old fashioned string and tin can telephones for the latest in consumer technologies.

I must say that most of the little ones were quite content with the string and tin cans, but The Small One (who is always ready to help others do things her way) convinced them that they needed a better connection. This lead to plastic buckets connected by rope.

I can only suppose that this is their equivalent of upgrading to high speed broadband.

After the rope and buckets were tied together  I asked them how they were going with connecting to the internet. As we were in the garden most of them just looked about at the trees and the ground. They were not too sure where the internet actually is.

Then The Small One said

"Once I had a dream I went to the internet. It was up in the clouds."

With that hard question solved the little ones were now doing the seemingly easy task of connecting their bucket-phone to the sky.

Even on tummy mountain we feel the relentless march of progress.


...


Monday, July 14, 2014

Unraveling the Deep Mysteries.

Wee Small just informed me that it is Manatee's birthday today.

I think we all know that this is just an opening statement that will inevitably lead to we need to bake a cake. I don't think we are going to be baking an unsupervised cake here for a while.

"How old is Manatee turning?" I ask.
"He is turning One." says Wee Small
"He turned One last year" I reply
"Yes"
"And the year before that" I continue
"Yes"
"Why is that?"
"He can't count any higher than One."

So there you have it. Seems like Manatee is doomed to be eternally One year old.


...

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Banana Cake

More culinary delights from the little ones of tummy mountain. They truly are experts in the kitchen. Today they would like to share with you their secret recipe for banana cake.

Ingredients:

1. Bananas
2. Cake

Directions:

This recipe is best attempted when parents are not in the room.

1. Peel all the bananas - it doesn't matter how many the recipe asks for - just peel all of them.

2. Then squeeze the bananas in your hands so all the squishy banana bits go through your fingers.

3. Stare at the squishy banana bits in utter amazement.

4. Hold hands up to other little ones and make them understand about the amazing squishy bananas on your hands until you realize that you no longer like squishy bananas all over your hands.

5. Run out of kitchen and wipe squished bananas into the hall carpet thoroughly.

6. Scrape remaining banana and carpet fluff into bowl.

7. Pour great quantities of herbs and spices into the bowl too. It doesn't matter what the herbs and spices are. Preferably you should empty out each bottle. Optional: Any sauce will make a lovely garnish at this point. 

8. Follow any remaining directions from the Small One who is pretending she can read the cook book.

9. Add sprinkles

10. Put mixture bowl outside in the sunshine and forget for two hours.

11. Return and discover that the ants are very happy indeed.

12. Bring bowl and ants back into house and try to wash ants out in the bathroom.

There is no step 13 - unluckily for the little ones they were discovered at this point and were not able to complete their recipe.

Yet they would like to encourage other little ones out there to follow their example and see what variations of this wonderful Banana Cake recipe they may create for themselves.

They guarantee that the results will always be surprising.


..


Wednesday, May 28, 2014


The sun is out, there is snow on the mountains, and the little ones have decided to have a parade as March is the month to have parades! - it is named after parades after all!

I pointed out it was May.

Blank stares greeted me and I had the sensation that I was raining on their parade. Perhaps that is why they decided to dress for wet weather and wear galoshes, wellies, gumboots or whatever else you may want to call them on their heads as they went marching by.


Monday, May 12, 2014

Talking Boat

If there was a boat on tummy mountain, I am sure it would be this one:

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Easter

The little ones may have appeared to be a tad quiet over the last few days. Not so - it is a very busy time for them helping the Easter Bunny. They mainly help by sitting on the Easter Bunny's back and demanding rides. Very helpful indeed.


Friday, April 4, 2014

tricks

Do your little ones ever try to trick you?

The Little One, being the eldest, quite happily toddles off to school on tummy mountain smiling and waving to all the other little ones who stay at home and just play all day long. So occasionally I suspect she may create reasons not to go to school so she can stay and play too.

Such as this reason this morning;

"But it's Saturday!"

For a moment I stood there stunned and it nearly worked - trying to confuse me as to what day of the week it is, as if I don't know!

...well I don't know what day it is but I know it isn't Saturday.

..

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

fragments

Often as I spend the day rushing about hither and thither and wonder where the minutes and hours go by I catch a glimpse of the little ones on tummy mountain engaged in some kind of imaginary game that lasts for hours and hours, unfolding and evolving into something wonderful. We are in the same space but operating in two different time zones and I think their time zone is better than mine - it seems more fun and relaxed.

Occasionally fragments and phrases drift from their world into mine - I only hear these bits in isolation - I do not know what these phrases mean in the story that is going on in their heads, but I particularly liked this one;

"Emily hitched up the elephant onto her back...she was very strong...and carried him to the castle..."

No doubt she is strong I thought.

I liked the wee pause as The Small One just had that moment of doubt - perhaps... perhaps she was thinking could Emily really lift up an elephant, and how to continue the game from this impossible scenario.

Impossible scenario?!? - What nonsense!! - There are no impossible scenarios in childhood! The solution is simple; Emily is very strong.

And I think Emily is a pony.

A very strong pony.

Monday, March 3, 2014

revolution

I have baked one of my favourites - cat food pie. It is not cat food. It is pie, and it has a happy face on it  - as all little ones will confirm that food tastes better if it looks good or happy. Until they discover there is disgusting green vegetables hidden inside. Which the little ones say tastes like cat food.

Eventually though, all this brazen cooking of healthy vegetables is only so much that a cluster of little people can take, and I can sense the stirrings of dissent and revolution in the tummy household. I am apprehensive as nations have risen and fallen on a mutual dislike of celery.

The demands start pouring from the unhappy little ones. They have decided that when they grow up they are not going to eat green vegetables ever and they going to eat chocolate when ever they want.

"All day long!" yells Wee Little.

"And we won't have to ever put anything away!'

"And we won't do anything else they don't want to do!"

There is lots of ferociously happy cheering at this point

What can I do? I have decided to join their revolution.

the pie that started a revolution

Saturday, February 22, 2014

bumblebees

One could be forgiven if one was imagining that one was obsessed with bumble bees, couldn't one?

Well it is a wee bit true.

Despite the plethora of adorable animals where tummy mountain originated there was a distinct lack of bumble bees.

It could be hard to even imagine a scenario that tummy mountain could exist without bumble bees! Luckily tummy mountain has flown across the seas to be in a land where bumble bees exist in plentiful numbers for the enjoyment of all.





Friday, February 14, 2014

loud blaring noises and lots of shouting

That can only mean awfulness to induce purchasing hysteria amongst the unwary shoppers of this world.

Out with the old in with the new no time to stop in this modern world of ours. Unless you like to take off your shoes and stretch your toes in the morning sun, feel the breeze and admire the bumble bees. In such times as those it could be that the tummy mountain 50% off madness hysteria craziness bargains sale is your cup of tea. Lots of awful shouting but with a bit of childhood cuteness and nostalgia mixed in.

I have made a crazy bargain SALE section in my etsy shop, and will be adding more things into it today, should be about 25 prints in there by the time I stop and have a sandwich.


Sunday, February 9, 2014

less higgledy piggledy, more whoosh!

Okay. Despite a lot of fanfare it may seem that nothing has happened. Well that could be true. But in the background the wee ones of tummy mountain have completed a big spring cleaning festival - even though it isn't spring anywhere (though the little ones tend to think of spring as more about jumping and less about the season.)

We have trimmed away some things and freshened up others. The main thing that has happened is that just about every art work now fits into a standard frame. They kind of did before but it was a little bit higgledy piggledy. Even though we love higgledy piggledy we need to be more streamlined and jet set in this futuristic world of ours. Maybe tummy mountain will need to be on roller skates to keep up. I think I rambled off the point...

The point is now just about all the big tummy size prints fit nicely into any standard frame (like an 11 x 14 with an 8 x 10 mount window) and the little tummy prints will fit snugly into an 8 x 10 frame with a 5 x 7 mount. We love the word snugly.

Which means we are just about ready for the sale. Stay tuned to Channel Tummy.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

After making a lot of noise about what is happening on tummy mountain it seems I am yet to follow through with any substance. I think I may have under estimated the amount of work involved in waking tummy mountain up. I should possibly be a bit more cautious and reserved - a bit more like the roly-poly hedgehog I saw ambling across the garden  path yesterday. We have a lot in common that hedgehog and I.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

stretching and yawning

Now that tummy mountain has woken up from a very long snooze, like waking from a long afternoon nap in the afternoon sun only to find that some small people have taken your socks off and drawn happy faces on your toes, it is time to do some kind of spring cleaning, even though it isn't spring anywhere in the world - except perhaps in the lounge room where everyone is springing up and down on the furniture, and making me lose track of what I am talking about.

Which is some kind of sale at crazy bargain prices guaranteed to induce mania with the kind of loud shouty voices that make you switch station on the radio to hear something soothing instead - yes, that kind of a sale.

Stay tuned to Radio Tummy for more details!

..

Thursday, January 9, 2014

It is early in the new year. It feels like a good time for tummy mountain to wake up from it's deep slumber and wipe away the sleep in the eye, stumble out into the bright light and have a cup of tea. It promises to be a big year - how can it not? There are already hedgehogs, bumble bees and the little ones playing out in the sun.