Sunday, June 28, 2009


it is raining on tummy mountain.

sometimes it rains on tummy mountain.

...and sometimes it rains a bit more on tummy mountain.

...and sometimes it keeps on raining on tummy mountain so that it feels that the little ones have been trapped inside for ever.

poor little ones.

one day the sun will come out and then they will be able to slide along the wet grass on their little tummies! That will be fun!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Stop Press!

Mystery of munched melons solved!

After extensive investigations, the source of little bite marks and uneaten chunks of watermelon in the tummy mountain veggie patch has finally been bought to light. Initially, sleuths retained to uncover the diabolical marauder, thought that the criminal mastermind behind the spoiled fruit were a gang of notorious snails equipped with very little ladders. As it turns out a more ordinary explanation was forthcoming.

The investigators staked out the veggie patch, and in the morning light obtained the evidence that was needed by way of a series of incriminating photographs.

The evidence.

It appears that Wee Tiny was waking up early, wandering outside, and having a dawn snack in her pyjamas. Wee Tiny has not shown the slightest remorse for heinous crime of spoiling fruit. When questioned why she engaged in such activities she could only respond "yummy watermelon."

Even though remedial action is unlikely to work, the investigators were pleased that they cracked the case and made the front page news.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

the herd

Usually there is a time in the day when every little one has been fed and watered, and are outside playing, that a sense of calm returns to the tummy household. In such moments curling up on the couch with my friend the book and a cup of tea are blissful.

During one such moment the other day I was disturbed by an unusual sound. The distant roar of a waterfall, or was it an earthquake. It was the thundering of hooves.

Into the calm house burst a herd of unicorns! Their newly decorated cardboard horns glittering and sparkling with wet paint! Their tails festooned with shiny stickers dragging framed photos and bowls and other ornaments crashing onto the floor! Their beautiful faces highlighted with marker pens for the next week at least!

The herd stampeded through every room before magnificently leaping through the air and onto the couch! The sunlight shone on their flowing manes as once more they jumped over me and up onto the window frame that I tell them not to jump on every day of their lives for their own safety!

Startled by the angry monster, they cascaded down from on high and fled the house as a pack, never to be seen again.

All that was left for me to do was to clean up the spilled tea and find my place in my book.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

cat food pie

Let me state categorically - there is no cat food in cat food pie.

This is one of my own recipes. I cook up a whole load of yummy vegetables and some meat and put it in a pie dish lined with pastry. Sounds easy so far, but what I have not said is that I divide the pie up by putting all the yummy mixture up one end, and at the other end goes all the things that the little ones will eat without picking through the meal at the table and removing the bits they don't like one by one with a running narrative of how they don't like those bits.

Sometimes their end of the pie gets a bit complicated and looks like a map of some country divided up into small regions like "The Land of No Tomato" and "The PFZ" (Pea Free Zone) and "Cheezonlyonia"

To be able to recognise the tasty bit for me and the plain and boring bit for them I make a pastry face on the pie. This is crucial as the little ones will tell you it is more important how food looks than what it tastes like. At least they'll say that first, and then they proceed to tell you that it doesn't taste nice bit by bit.

I love the pie. I think it tastes great. But it is at this point that it gets its name.

"Yuck!" says The Small One "It tastes like cat food."

Monday, June 15, 2009

my heart wasn't in it

How I failed at the invisible birthday party.

Wee Small's invisible friend Daisy was having an invisible birthday party.

"How old is she?" asked Wee Tiny
"Five!" said Wee Small

I personally love invisible birthday parties. So much easier hanging up the decorations, serving the food. But this time it was just a bit too early in the morning for me. I usually like these things to happen after the sun has risen. Not so for the little ones though, the best time is always right now.

"How old is she?" asked The Little One
"Seven" said Wee Small

It was really cold outside. We waited for Daisy to arrive and then we gave her invisible birthday presents. Wee Tiny gave her an invisible fairy costume. I gave her "Invisible Twister" - that should be an interesting thought for the little ones to get their heads around. Wee Small told me that Daisy already has lots of Invisible Twister. I felt put in my place. Wee Small had given Daisy shoes as that's what Daisy needed. "Oh." I said.

We played party games. I wanted to go inside and have a cup of tea. Instead I made an elephant parade for elephants. The little ones added a turtle, a dolphin, and a snail to my elephant parade. It was no longer an elephant parade. I wanted to go inside and have a cup of tea and some toast.

It was time for the cake. "At last," I thought. Then I realised that I didn't know something crucial to the party. Something unforgivable.

"How old is she?" I asked.
"Two!" said Wee Small

The cake was served.

"Delicious" I said.

I was wondering how I would ask what flavour it was without upsetting the hostess. Luckily Wee Tiny came to the rescue with a very delicate and subtly phrased question to coax the answer out of Wee Small without hurting her feelings.

"What flavour is it?" asked Wee Tiny
"Carrot!" said Wee Small.

By this stage I felt I could not continue with my lacklustre effort any longer. It was time for the truth. And anyway it is at this stage that one can politely leave a party having gone through all the proper processes. So I said that I had to go. Wee Small grumpily grabbed an invisible lolly bag and whacked it into my lap. It was then that I knew that I had failed. My heart wasn't in it, and now it was over.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


It was the Queen's birthday weekend in the land where tummymountain is. This meant it was a holiday for lots of people. On tummymountain life is just about a permanent holiday for the little ones and they continued on as always - dressing up as bumble bees, talking with grasshoppers, etc.

"The real Queen?' asked Wee Tiny
"Yes, the real Queen," I replied.

Wee Tiny had to consider this for a second, and then ask me again as my answer had been a bit obscure and I had left out vital bits of information that would make it make sense.

"Really, the real Queen?" asked Wee Tiny again.
"Yes, the real Queen," I replied. Again.

And off she ran to jump up and down like frogs.

I noticed, as one does, over the course of the day that Wee Tiny was a little subdued. I asked her if anything was wrong and she told me that there was. She was very worried about going to the Queen's birthday party because she would be a bit shy in front of the Queen.

"Oh little one." I said and picked her up and brought her up high "We're not invited. We're not going to her birthday party."

Needless to say there was a little bit more spring in her frog jumps after that was all cleared up.

for clarification purposes only

Saturday, June 6, 2009

the treasure pond

High up on tummy mountain the little ones found a pond where the night sky keeps her treasures.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

a little party for a big mammal

I awoke to find that the little ones had been up bright and early and had already commenced preparations for the days festivities. Every kitchen cupboard was open. A lot of ingredients had been used and I could see the trails they had made from the shelves to the mixing bowl. In the mixing bowl was flour, sugar, egg, spinach, water, pepper, mandarin, and mandarin peel. As Manatee was the guest of honour he was already dressed in a lovely floral frock and stuffed headfirst down the back of the couch. This was to guarantee that he would be surprised. I was assuming the other toys with him were to keep him company or distracted or both.

Eventually the concoction was dished up in great dollops onto all the plates and mostly assembled in front of all the invited guests. The other plates had left their contents on the floor and had now spread from the kitchen to the dining room. The invited guests stared into space as usual.

The tea party was a great success, as evidenced by the joyful footprints all over the couch and leading into every other room of the house. The occasion was Manatee's 2nd birthday. Last month he turned 7 with a similar amount of cleaning to be done.

I wonder how old he will be next month?